I began my parallel project by exploring my relationship with my personal space inside my home. I decided to focus on the kitchen – as the view looking out has provide me with so much inspiration. It also provides a sense of being a tiny part of a parallel universe with reflections that mirror an alternative space , where a version of me collides with the real me. The room has double aspect windows and i am fascinated and drawn to the view out of the window that overlooks the garden with the new housing apartments that dominate the skyline and are constantly evolving and changing. I am also inspired by the light and how it transforms the scene
The view out of this window has been an inspiration to me since i began studying with the OCA and has featured in some of my work. Therefore i want to take this even further by exploring my relationship with it and exploring my physical presence in the space. So I began to explore my reflective self in the window. I began asking and challenging the notion of whether it is physically possible to be in two places at once ! Twisting reality by placing myself both in the window as a reflection and also in the room. I also added another aspect and dimension by including my image reflected in a full Length mirror. There were endless parallels and possibilities happening.
I drew my reflection blurred and hazy from the elements and the warm kitchen. I drew myself reflected slightly hidden by the plants on the window ledge with the inky blackness outside broken up by the lighted windows of the apartments. I then began experimenting and exploring the Juxtaposition of my images. I used photocopies of my drawings, collage elements , tracing paper , parchment paper and clear acetate sheets, to suggest layers and the fragile nature of a snatched moment in time. Looking at my work I feel that I have captured some of my innermost feelings and how I fit into a much larger story. I feel using layers is a good way to explore the sense of the opacity of a moment. I feel that the drawing with ink , acetate and pencil worked well. I deliberately smudged the ink to suggest movement and change. In the piece I explore my reflection in the window where I sit among the plants as well as another me captured in in a mirror. I developed this idea further by investigating how I would look in different angles and placing all the parts of me on one piece. I then got to thinking about the fragile and invisible ‘cord’ that bind me to the place / space. So i looked at this idea by using red cotton and a needle to draw on paper suggesting the invisible threads that connect me to the space. I used red thread to symbolise blood. I really like the idea of exploring the moment and commenting on how a moment can be broken like thread snapping. I intent to develop a larger piece of work that explores myself as a map. At the moment this piece of work is still in the planning stage – but it is an idea that i do want to explore more fully.
Above images are my initial work and are mostly ideas and exploring and responding to materials.
Reflection and evaluation – so far
After creating my initial ideas i have spend some time reflecting and critically reviewing my work. I felt there were some elements that needed resolving and tightening up on before moving on. One of these areas also came up during my tutor google hangout for assignment 2. many of the ideas are making progress – but the self portrait images do not work the main problem is that they are too stylised – my tutor said that they almost seem to represent an image of me as a child. I totally agree with this assessment and it has been a concern for me. many of the images represent a fragment or a brief moment suspended in time. After much thought i feel i need to look more at myself and attempt to analysis myself though drawing. This will be a challenge as i do struggle with drawing myself but it is something i need to do to enable me to progress my parallel project.
MOVING ON
My parallel project has changed direction becoming much more personal to me -its now essentially a reflection on me , and has surprisingly become a emotional process that explores facets of my identity ; allowing me to look at visually reflecting and sharing my feelings though a creative journey. I am looking within myself to explore my memories, moments and minute fragments of my personal timelines – sometimes these timelines blur so that I seem to be looking backwards and forwards, which is okay as life is very much like this . In a sense I am looking at ways to comment on changes both physical and emotional , and to an extent I have found myself to responding to ageing even bearing my innermost thoughts to leave a visual record of myself. This aspect of the project has been the hardest as I tend to be shy about revealing myself.
The project has also taken me outside of myself thinking about a much larger picture the world, the planet and the environment and asking myself questions about my role in all this. During assignment 4 I was asked to install a piece of art in the environment – a process that totally overwhelmed me and made me aware how vast the world outdoors is and how insignificant I am compared to the natural world. I came to really respect the power of nature and how my moment and brief tenure on the planet is merely a short time compared to the environment which is ancient and powerful. Standing beside trees was particularly interesting and profound as trees are a large part of the infrastructure of nature and life on the planet . Trees also have their own secret telepathic language ( Wohllben , 2017) and have a life span that is much longer than humanity. I am a mere dot on the timeline of the planet.
This led me then to reflect on what constitutes being human.
I began a process of reflection pondering on the atoms and chemical that are the essential ingredients of humans. The mysterious makeup of the human body that we all share. I was keen to find the very science of the human body that is not part of our physical appearance the part of us that we are not aware of. We tend to know about our major organs and skeletal structure of our bodies but not about the way we are in a sense part of the wider universe. I found it quite challenging and difficult to absorb as I am not a scientist- yet I was 
Large drawing and college – mixed media , pencil, pen , ink , recycled and found paper, tracing paper and a digital copy of a photograph that was enlarged on a photocopier
From my sketchbook- collage , drawing and an enlarged photo- a reflection on peeling back the layers of the face
As time as passed I have definitely found that my parallel project is really about me and it has become very much a response to discovering what makes me who I am – I dislike referring to my ‘ personal voice’ but in a sense I am going though this process working on my parallel project.
In October I attended an OCA study visit to see Helene Schjerfbeck at the Royal academy. Schjerfbeck a Finnish painter was born just over a hundred before me but her amazing work was not only really modern but really resonated with me particularly her revealing and raw self portraits. Schjerfbeck did a very poignant series of self portraits recording the ageing process and her final illness. Many of these last self portraits were constructed in a sparingly manner – minimal mark making capturing the ravages of the ageing face. I really felt that she was an artist that really understood the human condition unlike Edvard Munch who was a contemporary of Schjerfbeck also responded to the human condition but I feel he tended to be much melodramatic ( although I an a fan of his work) ; Instead Schjerfbeck tells it in an unflinchingly human manner. Seeing this exhibition really came at the right time for me as it seems to fit in with my parallel project. I have written a separate blog entry on Schjerfbeck.
DRAWING WITH A NEEDLE
drawing two introduced me to how to use blind / contour drawing as an impactful drawing technique. I have explored this method of drawing as a way to capture my facial features. I have also explored drawing and mark making with a needle. I decided to explore combining these two techniques together as a way to map out my face as part of my parallel project. Instead of using paper as a drawing support I decided to use a square piece of fine textured linen. I used carbon page to add the faces onto the fabric and used embroidery cotton as my drawing tool. I kept my makes simple as I wanted the shapes of my original drawings to be central to the piece – and as my lines are very economical it was important to keep this aspect of the work. I used different coloured thread for each of the faces which I think really works as it suggests mood and emotions – all really relevant for this piece.
First image transferred to piece of linen
MIGRAINES – exploring my experiences and the physicality of pain
Part of my parallel project is also a response to my health specially my migraine. I usually get two migraines a month and they can last for several days. They are often linked with my insomnia. During episode I experience many odds feelings including seeing bright colours in front of my eyes and a weird wobbly head sensation. Despite the debilitating nature of migraines I am keen to record some of the emotional processes that I go and visually record my feelings. So during and after a migraine I sketch and draw my response to my headaches in a tiny A6 sketchbook. I have a number of sketches now and have used them as a source and inspiration for creating and making a hand made concertina book.
FINAL STAGE
I am now at the process of presenting by project. Although I feel that the project due to the personal nature of the themes I am working on can never be fully finished instead it will be a part of my learning journey. I feel that the fluid and personal nature of my project means that it does not have to be complete at this stage as it will probably form part of a larger major project that will continue to grow and evolve with me.
To consolidate everything so far – as I have a lot of work So I had to start selecting the pieces that I feel represents this project the most . I have come very far and have explored and experimented with different media such as collage , drawing , using and expanding on digital images and stitching on paper. I have used different supports such as tracing paper, acetate , fabric, recycled paper, found materials such as wrappings from parcels and toned paper.
I have decided to present my parallel project as three pieces a large piece mounting a selection of drawings on to A1 card to make 5 panels , these panels will then be attached to become one large piece of work to represent my impact onto the larger world and my relationship to the environment and the universe.
The second piece that I will present as part of my parallel project is – the linen panel with the blind drawing of my head and face. This piece represents my emotions and how I see myself presented to the outside world.
The third part of my parallel project will be my handmade book that explores my migraines. The book is small A6 size to explore the feelings of being small and lost as part of the painful nature of my frequent headaches. I made my book using a piece of white A4 card that I cut in half to produce the pages. I folded the two sets of card and used a bone cutter to form creases to firm the book pages. The two sets of pages were then glued together to become a concertina book. The cover was made out of cardboard covered with paper .
Sarah Davis BA Open College of the Arts 